Wondering About Wonder Bread And 1986 Ads


When I was snooping at my mom’s house, I found this piece of ephemera from an age gone by. I was pretty disgusted to find Wonder Bread put out matches at one point in time.


Wonder Bread managed to maintain its false innocence. It was actually a kit to repair stocking runs. This was a new concept to me. When you think you have seen it all, a new discovery surfaces.


The advertising on the back of the kit claims that Wonder Bread builds a strong body in not only one, but EIGHT ways. I was taught that Wonder Bread is basically empty calories. Not only do they bleach out essential nutrients to make it white, there is a lot of sugar in this bread.


At EMU, I had a teacher who asked us to somehow obtain a piece of Wonder Bread. He advised to take a bite and then chew on it for as long as possible, well after it had reached the mush stage. After a while, you will begin to taste a stark sweetness. This is when Wonder Bread shows its true colors. Sugar cake holding your lettuce and tomatoes together.


My sister gave me about ten old magazines she found at the cheapstore. I have only begun to crack these relics.


I found one headline to be bemusing. Why on God’s green Earth would anyone keep a medical discovery that could help other people a secret? Are we monsters?


This was one of the ads inside. One may think they are buying an alternative if they purchase Tab Soda. This is not the case. Tab is owned by big corporation, Coca-Cola. Joan Crawford is laughing at you from beyond every time you swallow a drink of Tab.


I feature this because it gave me an instance in whoch the past crashed into present with a screeching hault.  The  facial recognition program on my phone went bananas. Squares framing every face!!!


Finally, this shit. I don’t think it is around anymore. Probably causes cancer like every other mock food.



Sticker Book


People used to be able to find most anything they needed at K-Mart, even rifles. “You Can’t Do Better Than K-Mart” sounds like a narcissist was on the marketing team.


My mom used to love to take pictures. When she went to K-Mart, she was always getting photo albums. Sometimes she would get some for us to put stickers in.


Scratch and Sniff were some of the most popular kind. I remember what most of these smell like. Our sense of smell, olfactory, is said to be among the strongest of all! In one of our books, we have a band aide Scratch and Sniff. Jeez, desperate for new smells, I guess. It was pretty authentic, though. The creator of Garbage Pail Kids could have put out nasty smell stickers. Litter box? Vomit breath? Piss in an alley?


ET was a very popular movie at this time, so naturally, he would grace stickers. Don’t think this one is trademarked.


This sticker recognized that Generation X was growing weary of creepy Baby Boomers.


No type of sticker was off limits- here is a banana sticker.


Pac Man was basically the son of God during this era.


Was this some idea for a TV show?


Waka Waka?


This is what it looks like when Pac Man eats a ghost in slow mo.


Sugar Cereals hoped stickers might boost their sales. At least they were trying to sticker about something responsible. I’m not sure what a sticker does to improve biking safety, though. Maybe it came with a pamphlet. Or the back of the cereal box could have provided all kinds of tips to keep safe. PSAs need to come back.


A child might mistake a stamp for a sticker but stamps are there to do a job.




Sears Catalogue, Part II


In 1993. the Sears Catalogue was there before online shopping existed. You had a choice of ordering by mail or phone.


Sears would deliver anything right to your doorstep, even a wooden swimming pool!


Color was really celebrated in 1993.


Look at how many choices you had for your jorts!


Although, nothing compares to the classic!


Sometimes, the color was all washed out and that was “in”, too.


Little accents of color was appreciable. Watch out for those Crips!


Not your average, boring socks in 1993!


Members only had their own line of luggage at this moment in time.


Typically, Members Only was known for their jackets, just like this one Corey Feldman is wearing in what must be Lost Boys.


At a garage sale a few days back, I spotted a “VIP Only” jacket. Members versus VIP! What a rivalry.


In 1993, it was trendy to wear biker shorts underneath another pair of shorts. Layers equaled more color!


If this is the Canadian tuxedo…


…this must be the Canadian prom dress.


Too much denim!


This is if you took one of those Jason Voorhees type jumpsuits and made a dress of it.


These were considered classic, down to earth colors back then.


Whoa, you boys are drowning in those things!


I don’t like to think that a woman gave birth on the beach. Sand gets everywhere!

Vertical stripes were everywhere. I hope these do not resurface.


This piece of furniture was to store all your VHSes.


The entertainment center was an outfit that stored VCRs, televisions, gaming consoles, and stereos all in one place.


What a status symbol!


This picture illustrated the newer concept of motion detection lights.


This touchtone pad was another mode of security for the home.


He does not look happy.


Gen X rules!


Pure Moods!


The perfect outfit for the first day of school.


Thanks, again, to my great friend, Meghan, for sending me these wonderful catalogues!



Forgotten Paperbacks


Don’t Tell Mom…I guessed the girl on the right was pregnant, because look at how the sister seems to be holding her stomach.


The back of the book does not go into any details about what the secret might be, only that Carrie had run away for five months. Teens, you are going to want help from an adult in the case of a pregnancy. Whatever Carrie has to hide, I am sure her mother is just glad she is home and would probably be supportive.


The Cat’s Meow had two copies so best friends could read them at the same time.


I guessed Jennifer was probably pregnant.

According to the back of the book, it turned out Jennifer hated school. It is a good thing Jennifer has a friend to turn to.

Dare she tell anyone? the caption reads.


She probably gets pregnant.


What dimension are those children even in?


She is working those pegged jeans. Is their last name Goat?


This was a book of 70s poetry.


This is a little sample of some of the prose.


I can see why the book is entitled Alone…The ellipsis makes the title all the more isolated.


If your parents say no, rebel by ruining a bunch of stuff and plowing through the new groceries.


I was most creeped out by the title of the author’s previous work.


Reading is fun!


I was not sure if this was for sale…but I was surprised this old fashioned hair tie made it through the decades. THESE THINGS USED TO BE EVERYWHERE IN THE 80S IN EVERY COLOR.

These poor guys were left in frames being sold. I hope the actual person is doing better than his baby pics today.


That is a very romantic photo for a bunch of buttons.


Cosmo 2004


Today I discovered that the big antique store in downtown Bay City has two basements. I found this 2004 issue of Cosmopolitan for $1.


Omarosa was a contestant on Donald Trump’s reality game show, The Apprentice. I never watched it when it originally aired, but when Trump became president I decided to binge them. I wanted to see what Trump voters had gotten us into.

I knew before watching the show that Omarosa had a notorious reputation. Especially when reality TV was new, people loved to gossip about the people on the shows. When I watched Omarosa in action for myself, I kept waiting for her to get mean. I felt like she was treated unfairly by other contestants on the show, who probably had never been around black people in their lives. I felt she carried herself perfectly gine and others were simply intimidated.


This photo went along with the article. Janice Dickinson was a model in the seventies and became a judge on America’s Next Top Model. She has called herself the first supermodel. I thought that was Cindy Crawford.


This little device was among the first phones with video recording capabilities.


This is exactly twenty years earlier for comparison’s sake.


These babies aren’t around anymore as far as I know. Maybe at the dollar store. Capri Sun is all about the pouch. Can’t have one without the other.


Low rider jeans were about all that was available in stores at this time. They started a millimeter from the butt crack.

Blue jean skirts were everywhere. They were worn at casual and formal events alike. Some were very very short.


These probably smelled good. I would buy these today if I saw them.


It seemed like everybody smoked in these days. People finally got their heads on straight and are no longer tempted by cigarettes, no matter what flavor they are.


This flavor is mocha taboo. Cigarettes knew they were bad and tried to market on that.


This is a giant mug I spotted at Habitat for Humanity. People used to cut off a proof of purchase called a Marlboro Mile off of the side of the pack of their cigarettes. They could pick up a catalogue at the store and send in their miles for prizes. This was one of them. They also had things like jean jackets.


Finally, I saw this miniature jar that used to hold mayonnaise at the flea market. These days, people will put this much on one sandwich!


Wearable Art and Questionable Ads


This “day-glo”, as they called the color palette, outfit was featured in a booklet entitled Wearable Art.


The booklet was originally purchased at a now defunct retail chain called Frank’s Nursery and Crafts. I used to call it Frank’s Nursery and Craps. The store’s jingle went like this: “Beautiful things begin at Frank’s, Frank’s Nursery and Craft’s!”


This beautiful parrot was made with fabric paints and glued gem stones.


The mystery object in this kid’s hand takes away from the vest, no matter how flashy.


A bit of the very trendy valley girl dialect to describe this puffy paint sensation.


That is a lot of denim, but that’s how it was done back when this booklet was published in 1990.


Bigger is better.


It would be a shame to get that apron all stained with food spills.


Let’s give these models a round of applause.


I found this ad in a 1984 Family Circle. I feel bad that she is so addicted to cigarette smoking that she cannot even hit the slopes without a few puffs.


This was a public service announcement about keeping your kids away from poison. What a close call. How did it even get to the point where the kid is just about to take a big sip of bleach? Also, no products like these ever featured skull and crossbones on their packaging. This was an artistic liberty taken by the creator to show a point.


It was okay with this contest if you wanted to enter pictures of your child hitting a fat cigar.


Childhood is not easy.

Obscure Products


I came across a product called “Bath Glove” on a recent thrifting spree. This invention seems to be a precursor of what we now know and love as the loofah. Rub a dub dub, but I don’t know if I would want to suds up with a giant toothbrush!


At any rate, Value World was asking for a price 75% off of the original cost. I just think we should find out who this model is and send it to her. She would probably love a walk down memory lane.


This is “Photo Stack”. I like how these products do not utilize the word “the”. No use for prepositions here!

This particular product strikes me as something a creeper would employ to show off his collection of photos of ladies he pressured into giving him pictures. “Hey, you are giving Glamour Shots to everyone else…Can I have one???”

I also wonder what became of this lovely model. I wonder if she is still in the industry. Although this product was made in Hong Kong, it was distributed in Bloomfield Hills, MI, according to the packaging. Perhaps she is local!


I spotted this fancy KMart brand windbreaker at an estate sale my sister and I visited.  It was really my style, but was a bit past the gently used stage.


KMart guarantees satisfaction always here on the tag. I cannot recall a time I was dissatisfied with Kmart, except for the time I went into the bathroom and there was an unflushed toilet with a used pregnancy test in the bowl. But I don’t hold that against KMart.


Another cheerful design from Simplicity. I would place this pattern to around 1987. I wonder if that is a Swatch Watch. Is he about to lick her ear out?


There was a crowd that was die hard for Ed Hardy about thirteen years back.  Whomever owned this lit-ass Ed Hardy print was probably very cool.


Come, my lady, come, come, my lady….you’re my butterfly Sugar, baby


Finally, Hangman. It looks like Brian Cranston’s brother was a boardgame model. No one is ever pissed on board game covers. You have to be realistic because one can get really competitive and failing to represent that is false advertising.



All this gal ever wanted to be was a model…Maybe she could hit the big times and become a  SuperModel. She sent out her pictures to all of the agencies. And now here she is, for the rest of eternity, as the ROACHES lady.


These appliances were featured in a 1973 issue of Women’s Day. This mustard color was one of the great postmodern classics.

We used to have a stove this color, as well as a dryer. I think that might actually be our exact model there. My mom still has it in her basement and uses the inside of it for storage.


This beautiful 70s kitchen is fit for all of your cooking needs. Two sinks? That is luxury. That linoleum disguised as tile was popular too. God bless all of the homes in America that still have it. It is important that we hold onto our heritage.


Don’t get too tripped out by this pantry as it does appear that the floor continues onto the wall upward to the ceiling.


Here is another storage space. How to Clean Everything.


“Part of a balanced breakfast.” Why are you having both cereal and toast? Are you going to be running a marathon?


I miss Total. I have never heard of Corn Total. It must have disappeared by the time I was on solids.


OK, flushable? As women, we are constantly inundated with signs that say PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH SANITARY NAPKINS. It is like a code of restrooms. Yet, the signs still go up. And you think, what fool is trying to flush these things? Evidently, there was a time when you could flush. So, I guess there was a period of confusion.



This crochet tie is strong yet sensitive.


Here are more of those 70s colors. Pea Green and Blood Brown are featured here.

I used to hate when people called me Kathy. Now I am like whatever. I probably won’t see you again.


Time-span action…timed to your queefs.


This is cool and should return.


My mom has a ton of these. The photos still stick today.


The most impressive thing here is what that beagle can do with its ear.

Bye for now! See you next week!

The Surprising Years


The Surprising Years was written in 1985. This was pretty late in the game to act shocked when a teen dissed you or did/said something to make you feel as shitty as they. But, people were still learning and Lions Clubs International had this little booklet published just for them.Lions-Club-Scholarship.jpgweirdscholarships


These two teens are relatively approachable.


But who would want to go up to this pensive child and ask him what he wants for dinner? Are we trying to get our heads bitten off?

By the way, this kid looks just like Wheels from Degrassi.

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Derek Wheeler “Wheels”…His story is a tragedy, but I won’t take that away from you. If you have never seen Degrassi Junior High (1986), Youtube has many of the episodes.


What’s next? One of those crazy haircuts…or drugs?

If crazy hair and drugs are on the same level for this parent, that is just really sad. I hope that kid can find some consolation in that punk album I see up there.


They had Sosches in The Outsiders and they were freaking jerks. They were just jealous because all the girls wanted Soda Pop and Pony Boy. Could The Outsiders have been called The Burnouts?


Darry would have torn this book in two.


Now, “stomps” I have never heard of. Sounds freaking insulting, though. The text does not mention “nerd” but the illustration has a kid wearing the label. In the 1976 movie, Carrie, the character, Chris, calls someone a “Mortimer Snerd”.


Poor guy. Kids can conjure up the devil, for sure.


But you know what? One of these girls might secretly have a crush on the loner, you never know. Things do have a way of turning out unexpectedly.


This teen and her mother bond over laughing at dad.


This dad should not have to ask twice for Junior to take out the trash.


Big brother


Starry starry 3 AM night


These girls just smoked some grass.


This book was endorsed by Bill Cosby. He really pisses me off  one, because he is a rapist but also because he has always acted like some moral compass for America. Was he so extremist just to diminish  believability should anyone step forward with claims against him? It is just so psychotic.


Wacky 20th Century Land


The picturesque 80s bride…

Something old,
something new,
something borrowed,
something blue, A sixpence bit in your shoe.


Speaking of 80s brides… Princess Di didn’t even need Prince Charles’s gnarly ass to be the biggest bride of the 80s. He was merely an afterthought.

This thimble is bone china. They could have simply used glass, but had to bring dead animals into the picture. Yes, bone china is more chip resistant and everything, but this item strikes me as more for display than for actual use in sewing.

And if you decide to get married, don’t get pricked.


This cutie pie is named Ego. He is a puppet with a presence. They used to sell puppets like these at Art Fairs in the 80s. I always wanted one. They were expensive, especially with those art fair mark ups. I don’t blame the creators. Art fair spots are expensive. And look how much a kit costs. I was satiated with little trinkets as a kid, thankfully for my parents.


Here is a similar wrap around puppet. It looks like this is the artist and those must be all of her creations for sale in the background. Her website name grates on me but the puppets look cute.


These dude were big time on the art fair scene, too.


These guys were a little more affordable. I asked for one once because I saw other kids walking around with them. My mom said I might get tired of holding it. I was like OK.


This book brings us back to a time where we could get away with just about anything. Pre-9/11, you understand.


I don’t really like that she is giving a jock strap for Christmas, but…


It takes two people to write a book this thrilling.


No More “Little Miss Perfect”. What the heck happens that Ashley suddenly spends an hour doing her hair???

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Here is Ashley on a typical day.

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Here are characters Brooke and Kelly trashing Ashley. They think the nice girl thing is all an act. I wonder how they might react in the book.


I was looking for these when I quit nic six months ago. I can’t find these anywhere, not even at the dollar store. Oh well. I don’t need all the sugar.


Um, they should have made all of these. In a pinch, I would pick blueberry, though.


Wolfgang Puck and a California Raisin to send you off.