Obscure Products

18155327_10211287133966666_472586641_n

I came across a product called “Bath Glove” on a recent thrifting spree. This invention seems to be a precursor of what we now know and love as the loofah. Rub a dub dub, but I don’t know if I would want to suds up with a giant toothbrush!

18136712_10211287133726660_347253063_n

At any rate, Value World was asking for a price 75% off of the original cost. I just think we should find out who this model is and send it to her. She would probably love a walk down memory lane.

18110420_10211287133566656_446122616_n

This is “Photo Stack”. I like how these products do not utilize the word “the”. No use for prepositions here!

This particular product strikes me as something a creeper would employ to show off his collection of photos of ladies he pressured into giving him pictures. “Hey, you are giving Glamour Shots to everyone else…Can I have one???”

I also wonder what became of this lovely model. I wonder if she is still in the industry. Although this product was made in Hong Kong, it was distributed in Bloomfield Hills, MI, according to the packaging. Perhaps she is local!

18110845_10211287130086569_730541464_n

I spotted this fancy KMart brand windbreaker at an estate sale my sister and I visited.  It was really my style, but was a bit past the gently used stage.

18136765_10211287129246548_1080217927_n

KMart guarantees satisfaction always here on the tag. I cannot recall a time I was dissatisfied with Kmart, except for the time I went into the bathroom and there was an unflushed toilet with a used pregnancy test in the bowl. But I don’t hold that against KMart.

18110713_10211287120806337_1387668864_n

Another cheerful design from Simplicity. I would place this pattern to around 1987. I wonder if that is a Swatch Watch. Is he about to lick her ear out?

18136311_10211287121886364_161978090_n

There was a crowd that was die hard for Ed Hardy about thirteen years back.  Whomever owned this lit-ass Ed Hardy print was probably very cool.

18136995_10211287121406352_774520266_n

Come, my lady, come, come, my lady….you’re my butterfly Sugar, baby

18190994_10211287135446703_898150212_n

Finally, Hangman. It looks like Brian Cranston’s brother was a boardgame model. No one is ever pissed on board game covers. You have to be realistic because one can get really competitive and failing to represent that is false advertising.

What’s a Blog? Season II

18136446_10211287139606807_767560929_n

CLAP ON! CLAP OFF!

This “As Seen on TV” product’s commercial was rotated so heavily in the 80s that most of us who were around back then can chant the infamous jingle with fervor.

According to the pitch, which was played most often late at night or on syndicated stations during shows like Charles in Charge, all one had to do was clap twice, and the lights in the house would turn on. Clap twice more, and the lights shut off. This was supposed to be convenient if you were in bed, for instance.

Although one could purchase this product at fine stores such as Aco Hardware, I have never been to one person’s home where The Clapper was utilized. I have never heard one person mention owning a clapper, for that matter, either.

If you or anyone you know has ever had the clapper, please let us know in the comments. For all of the years the commercial aired along with others such as The Chia Pet commercial, The Clapper must be popular with someone somewhere!

18136512_10211287119206297_1545048606_n

Remember this little lady? Mrs. Pac-Man, right?

18176126_10211287118766286_459844477_o

Please do not slut shame this gorgeous yellow ball because you are jealous. It is Ms. Pac-Man. People think she is married to Pac-Man and is often mistakenly called Mrs. The truth is, it is none of our business. We don’t necessarily deserve to know that information as soon as we learn her name.

18110564_10211287117046243_393016472_n

I encountered an operating Ms. Pac-Man machine and was bemused to see detailed instructions given near the coin slots. What planet are you from if you are unsure of how to play this game?

18136442_10211287118206272_743406202_n

Don’t trip in those heels, Ms. Pac-Man! It looks like she isn’t too worried about being chased. I have seen Mr. Pac-Man look furious against those ghosts. Ghostie doesn’t even have his eyes on the quarry!

18136192_10211287119606307_1436586926_n

I found this 2001 era relic on the restroom floor at Kroger. Someone had apparently been saving it and felt now was an appropriate time to release it back into the world.

I was quite surprised to see this duo make an appearance in the bathroom stall at the grocery store. The flyer tells on the Bush administration for starting wars to beef up their personal bank accounts.

The distributor goes on to take the liberty of making some handwritten notes, including calling then president and vice president “crap weasels”. It also notes in handwriting that no weapons of mass destruction were ever found in Iraq; weapons of mass destruction being the reason for invading Iraq in the first place.

18142790_10211287120566331_1807130422_n

Diskettes were a short lived product used to back up files and save works from personal computers. These were the next step from floppy disks of the 80s. Now we rely on flashdrives. The diskette pales in comparison. This 1.44 MB disk can hold around 600 photos, whereas today’s flashdrives typically hold tens of thousands.

1992 Newspaper Circular Coloring Book

441fa0e0585660bd21ae061b70f08575

This mock coloring book arrived with the newspaper during the holiday season of 1992. There were many layers unto this circular, including a large contest and coupons.

One could enter to win a 10,000 dollar shopping spree at the store of your choice. That is a lot of non-perishables. Employees of brands used in this advertisement coloring book were disqualified from entering.

hqdefault

Ten “first prize”, as opposed to grand prize, winners won a Sony Trinitron TV. I found one such television from 1992.

efd0cc59a65c2c0924f4454f4affd2b2

1000 second prizes were given away for a fifty dollar gift certificate to Blockbuster Video. Wow, what a difference.

062a42920bb9d8509d3968395c470a63

Everyone who entered got to try out the new Crayola Changeables markers. The concept was the first marker laid down a color, then the clear marker would change that color wherever it laid its line. This was better than a TV, Trinitron or not.

ea9e2ed3000236de130af0592eca9a99

The coloring books was about a family called the Taylors and loosely described how they prepared for their holiday party.

56dfdc5699645a23cf3986f85699aa0b

It flashes breifly to the neighbors across the street, hence the word loose.

82e53912ebcc407c5055f20701f9c131

Is that the dog from the Fit and Trim package itself?

985a0cc2cc61cda3ae2b88f98c514f4c

Because that is for sure the Beggin’ Strips dog. The artist has taken care to show each product in the hung stockings.

71545c461921c74f32f4164f70090868

Hershey has since changed its chocolate chip packaging design while its Hershey Kisses packaging remains a classic to this day. They even play the same old commercials for kisses.

screenshot-4094

Ring a bell?

8e63e49b5a1872ef810a0273d89971da

The artist had to make a stretch to feature certain products.

cea625794e09ee5a8fb318f0a1c5f8d6

I have no idea why a scarecrow is featured in a Christmas ad. Maybe he is stuffed with Bounty.

192ffadff21a83ca3fb13f306bde7d41

I hope that is not supposed to be the Charmin baby.

6df9e3773f8af14a701a06bb860e8093

Aunt Debbie is not ashamed and does not feel she has to keep her products hidden.

dabd1a95d712c2f4c54032ef3f61ef27

Many little kids probably learned about menstruation that 1992 holiday season.

134cd6f8769139e6d1f8972c1f17e8b2

Here is another classic packaging. I do not believe I have seen this brand in some time.

e69b218c2a2ee1c6240da79c77313505

People could use the coupons until 1-31-93.

802270941cd224bc2c6ac5186a3e92c2

The only coupon that was clipped was for coffee. You win, Folgers. Could you bring coupons to the shopping spree?

Chuck E v. Billy Bob

bf76c8f358c381bbd6666abc76ec3270

“Remember me?”

5b61e389d59c9e50790cbd054ad171f4

Long ago, Chuck E Cheese won the pizza wars over old Billy Bob the Bear.

08c7122960be43417fb91e1ad53baf1b

This Showbiz Pizza commercial is marketed exclusively toward adults.

8d4f19b91e5dede1b5060cb662187d97

1983 was a time in which Salad Bars were new and hip.

11df7701c5d7b2bc4c93e28be7b0a1f1

I guess the pizza was something to sing about. We can’t speak for Showbiz any longer but the crap coming out of Chuck E’s kitchen is worse than Hot and Ready Little Sleazer’s.

13bfefa642ae88bd0ebd1c00649fe5a9

Don’t hurt yourself, buddy.

88a786928029fe2ec1e9a70d156f1f8d

All was well when Billy Bob sang you a little ditty on your honeymoon.

494b9b4d270d20d31a01e3ec6c107ddc

We all know what Chuck E Cheese evolved into, but let’s celebrate the golden years.

918e5fd4f3c74bcdb2b110f8f2cf51fa

Children of the corn…

6480a6028e2ddefafc43f50326cf7589

became delightful little kiddos at the sight of one Chuck E Cheese.

ab4e18fd5474911373a91ab541169d9b

Now Chuck E Cheese’s serves beer and the media is rife with reports of boozing brawls at birthday parties. I am waiting for Chuck E to start throwing punches.

2804063064_92be0deaae_b

Where a kid can be a kid.

5b61e389d59c9e50790cbd054ad171f4

My sister Jen living it up in the 80s.

 

Commercial Nation: 80s MTV

3c2a69ee8857da2a5732e862c0b5b6f4

This lovely animation was aired May 3, 1986 on MYV’s Top Twenty Countdown.

5b61e389d59c9e50790cbd054ad171f4

Wart happened?

08c7122960be43417fb91e1ad53baf1b

Pretty as Pat Benetar, now.

8d4f19b91e5dede1b5060cb662187d97

COMPOUND W Gel: You can’t buy a stronger wart remover.

ce578ec89fb66e882fcbab316bb8be67

This special Clearasil ad accompanied a 1991 episode of Headbanger’s Ball.

d7a2968bcc72d5b4f22d88ad0b704a6b

One could acquire a fanny pack to go along with his or her newly fresh face.

db99d71f47d1acb7b8814a06ca98ce20

A good number to prank. And what a lovely still life.

f8846fd18bb8dc08c431665b46b3493d

This font means business.

494b9b4d270d20d31a01e3ec6c107ddc

This ad aired on MTV in 1983. It was celebrated a gigantic set of headphones.

918e5fd4f3c74bcdb2b110f8f2cf51fa

Batteries included for once. Probably lasted all of twenty minutes.

6480a6028e2ddefafc43f50326cf7589

weee

2804063064_92be0deaae_b

Konnichiwa

ab4e18fd5474911373a91ab541169d9b

These freebies are just too enticing.

bf76c8f358c381bbd6666abc76ec3270

What about the batteries?

11df7701c5d7b2bc4c93e28be7b0a1f1

Hannibal Lector Barbie

13bfefa642ae88bd0ebd1c00649fe5a9

Really just a makeup plate of sorts. Perfect raccoon circles.

88a786928029fe2ec1e9a70d156f1f8d

Not even Barbie, bitch.

Commercial Nation

1a8b2685e5fadd172a39b437462ba9af

What is this?

5b61e389d59c9e50790cbd054ad171f4

Why, it’s Yuppie Utopia 1985.

1f8b62fd28b64d0821ae51a85b844b4c

These funny little face nuances are the expressions of a happy gum chewer.

3c2a69ee8857da2a5732e862c0b5b6f4

Wrigley’s Spearmint gum, to be exact. Even tying your tie is adventurous.

08c7122960be43417fb91e1ad53baf1b

Everything is right with the world when you have fresh breath.

8d4f19b91e5dede1b5060cb662187d97

Lift this.

11df7701c5d7b2bc4c93e28be7b0a1f1

Some problems are more serious. One may need more than a little stick of gum to cut through this crisis.

13bfefa642ae88bd0ebd1c00649fe5a9

Yuppie Utopia is back to illustrate what you are risking.

88a786928029fe2ec1e9a70d156f1f8d

Bitch, get back and use that paper to fan your breath.

 

In 1985, this was the answer to your prayers. If you were cussing out the Juicy Fruit Company for not being able to help you in your time of need, Lavoris was there for you.

494b9b4d270d20d31a01e3ec6c107ddc

And then all was right with the world.

bf76c8f358c381bbd6666abc76ec3270

John Denver saluting Raisin Bran as being natural to send you off. Today it is caked with sugar and John Denver would probably not get behind such a product.

ab4e18fd5474911373a91ab541169d9b

Ironman Exclusive

db99d71f47d1acb7b8814a06ca98ce20

This Ironman’s Guide to Bodybuilding text was published in 2000. It is heralded as a natural way to gaining muscle mass.

ab4e18fd5474911373a91ab541169d9b

These are not pills, but dietary supplements. What part of all natural do you not understand?

ce578ec89fb66e882fcbab316bb8be67

You can get ripped when you follow the methods this book has to offer. His shirt is about a pitbull. Bow wow wow.

Screaming on the down beat never hurts.

f8846fd18bb8dc08c431665b46b3493d

These workouts are not just for men.

13bfefa642ae88bd0ebd1c00649fe5a9

You can fall in love while getting as big as a house.

5b61e389d59c9e50790cbd054ad171f4

Dumb bells

1a8b2685e5fadd172a39b437462ba9af

This is fierce.

08c7122960be43417fb91e1ad53baf1b

Don’t forget to stretch.

8d4f19b91e5dede1b5060cb662187d97

Those high tops are intense.

bf76c8f358c381bbd6666abc76ec3270

When you run out of weights, people also work.

918e5fd4f3c74bcdb2b110f8f2cf51fa

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

494b9b4d270d20d31a01e3ec6c107ddc

A gentle smile

11df7701c5d7b2bc4c93e28be7b0a1f1

Lickity split

88a786928029fe2ec1e9a70d156f1f8d

Large and in charge.

1f8b62fd28b64d0821ae51a85b844b4c

Ironman, indeed.

d7a2968bcc72d5b4f22d88ad0b704a6b

And something to grow on.

Selling Out

1f8b62fd28b64d0821ae51a85b844b4c

Lights, Camera, Action!  This shot is from the crowd at an 80s festival along the lines of Live Aid. A lot of hard work went into bringing you your MTV.

12e191d5022142490cfc87d2405f4279

Speaking of hard work, this Mickey calculator could cut homework times in half.

5b88cee7ddbc450eb52683053e3a0fd7

It took AA batteries. Such a thing beats solar powered calculators which never seemed to get enough sun to work reliably. Cute 80s sticker, too. Koalas were a trend then and need to see a resurgence in today’s day and age.

ecf3c9ed9d6d310fb4f4182fd2409dff

It is uncertain whether this particular Disney hunk of plastic used a trademark or not.

a7d5a9ad1d18c6a83bcdecf797565e08

Sew what.

f9c1e549b742e89be7f4e49215300bdb

3 hours to satisfaction. One has the option of making jorts in this pattern, whatever suits the fancy of the designer. The models would have really worked those jorts so I am not sure why it was decided they should wear long jeans.

8965052642b96d5fec2be83c091c3ae9

Throwing jarts in jorts. Jorts is jean shorts for anyone WTFing it right now.

431c70b42fdb55d799c85e3afcebb731

A twofer. Where else would you see two toilet paper firms team up? In the 80s, anything was possible.

9da6c659f92591d5415ebf2a794df2a0

This was before The Flintstones got their shit together. Who is that little boy and why is Dino green?

49dcbb5177e773ebb01e62e1ad3f5bbe

This is Blinkers. Owls were big like Koalas back in the 80s.

0f862f3548111c5bd6224ced4969c95f

This unfortunate dude has an eye in the middle of his forehead. Someone probably worked really hard at a carnival game to win him.

4b0ddfc2b2020dcb31d938c88806ffb0

Do not iron this dolly.

6bbf9586d076d7e41dfef11e8bbad02b

A somewhat dangerous if innocent game along with a 1995 Geoffrey Giraffe of Toys R Us fame.

15deeefb01d603556ae519da0432b18c

Creepy Crawlers the Toy

887e3c96e98a525980170425ef44326f

I didn’t want to start out with something too creepy, but frankly, that is where my mind is at right now. I came across these illustrations at my favorite dive, Cat’s Meow. This dude is playing it awfully patient.

930dc41bb03876bfc56b80f33630ba78

Don’t worry, it’s not meningitis or typhoid, it’s velcro.

931be4c049846c59a1961f8890583818

I forgot what they were talking about here with this illustration but I do recall feeling it was a longshot to put the two together.

27508f0f92bbbee427b6b4b0844bc435

Etch a Sketchs were big. Shake it up and on to the next one.

45669d3eb62d81de171a3a1564386cde

This is a slinky. They used to be metal but now they are plastic. I used to have an orange one that was red on the inside kinks.

50311b906bc94622cd739668c00123da

Serovar Typhi

76425abc5b5d7c81460150a7b416843f

Is he locking them out or in?! Stay away from my Rubix Cube! I am trying to solve it!

21082ab8a6e08e1d4c1283722bf707b8

Nice hat bozo

3191646a77e84a4a9eba854ca38d9c8b

Here is the cover. All these books from the 80s have these fake ass names if you have ever noticed.

0919522c66b0b8374d08f7d5c325e65a

This book is only available through the school market by Scholastic. I wonder why that would be.

4b5770879471f7f43aee9462be34198e

I have to apologize for the blurry image. I was in a hurry.

1f8b62fd28b64d0821ae51a85b844b4c

Lurlene

8a4ca81384281b5849fd300c15a0d4fb

Stacy, Kim and Jessica can’t get enough of Six Months to Live.

4d7a98aa29cd04799482c8b4dcc8a570

Angela, Nicole, and Nichole like this book, too, and Kim and Jessica are coming back for more.

260d4f02d5fcc46e3dd044b6a4f12cc3

Kawkawlin is vast and green.

54d7c45a847c5d37f80269ae195bc721

58ae8ceba49d61834c4c02b2bad3dd13

 

70s-0-Rama

d015cda7bf1c8f1020164b1ef346dfa6

All this gal ever wanted to be was a model…Maybe she could hit the big times and become a  SuperModel. She sent out her pictures to all of the agencies. And now here she is, for the rest of eternity, as the ROACHES lady.

db56d26aeb4ade384b88e21da27a0487

These appliances were featured in a 1973 issue of Women’s Day. This mustard color was one of the great postmodern classics.

We used to have a stove this color, as well as a dryer. I think that might actually be our exact model there. My mom still has it in her basement and uses the inside of it for storage.

b6c485faa40d81ce2ef4537d94475e06

This beautiful 70s kitchen is fit for all of your cooking needs. Two sinks? That is luxury. That linoleum disguised as tile was popular too. God bless all of the homes in America that still have it. It is important that we hold onto our heritage.

af58471178051f8c1cccee5f274f9d26

Don’t get too tripped out by this pantry as it does appear that the floor continues onto the wall upward to the ceiling.

c2b068220e55ecd97dc621106da12d5c

Here is another storage space. How to Clean Everything.

4b5770879471f7f43aee9462be34198e

“Part of a balanced breakfast.” Why are you having both cereal and toast? Are you going to be running a marathon?

3191646a77e84a4a9eba854ca38d9c8b

I miss Total. I have never heard of Corn Total. It must have disappeared by the time I was on solids.

d7685c1dbffb56679f1c89f52eb9e0f0

OK, flushable? As women, we are constantly inundated with signs that say PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH SANITARY NAPKINS. It is like a code of restrooms. Yet, the signs still go up. And you think, what fool is trying to flush these things? Evidently, there was a time when you could flush. So, I guess there was a period of confusion.

87286794e7b888a222f990fadbc83031

e7cbd543f68c1db2bc7d06e46f805bcb

This crochet tie is strong yet sensitive.

0919522c66b0b8374d08f7d5c325e65a

Here are more of those 70s colors. Pea Green and Blood Brown are featured here.

I used to hate when people called me Kathy. Now I am like whatever. I probably won’t see you again.

930dc41bb03876bfc56b80f33630ba78

Time-span action…timed to your queefs.

931be4c049846c59a1961f8890583818

This is cool and should return.

8a4ca81384281b5849fd300c15a0d4fb

My mom has a ton of these. The photos still stick today.

5c6215bce12da7fd01132fd6a75c44b0

The most impressive thing here is what that beagle can do with its ear.

Bye for now! See you next week!