Everybody knows Madonna.
If anyone does not know who Madonna is, they must learn.
If they have forgotten, they must be reminded.
At least, according to Madonna, herself, and her 2015 single with select lyrics shown above wherein she reintroduces herself.
In 1982, Madonna’s first single, Everybody, Madonna demands, “Everybody, come on, dance and sing!”
For those that were not there or those who may have blocked it out of their heads, Madonna became one of the biggest pop stars of the 80s in the USA, through media like Music Television (MTV) on cable TV and FM radio.
33 years later, Madonna, along with six others, including Nicki Minaj, of Young Money fame, wrote the aforementioned song, Bitch, I’m Madonna, in which she records, “Beep-beep bitch, move ‘fore I bang-bang with that uzi.”
Madonna must have a CIA file as thick as the bible!
I have had Madonna on the mind ever since I sat down with this turn of the 90s periodical my secret admirer bestowed upon me.
Some headlines were a little bit confusing due to how sometimes words in the English language have a few different definitions. It’s like, wait, Madonna’s royal what?
But, it turned out only to be innuendo, intentional or not, we can only speculate. For anyone who believes they may write to the contest address for more information, Ste.300 at 9171 Wilshire Blvd. is currently occupied by an accounting firm.
Contests were held by all sorts of companies on a frequent basis in the 20th Century with prizes ranging from hunks of junk to millions of dollars. It appeared that loads of generosity was just flowing through society. But perhaps this was just an old fashioned way of information phishing.
Still, whenever I come across contests like this one in old media, I wonder about all the people that won and how the experience of winning affected them. What an idea for a volume of books!
But anyway, I hope whomever won this collection of music had fun dancing the day away to Madonna’s Billboard hit, Vogue.
Another headline that grabbed my interest promised to share a glimpse of life backstage at a Madonna performance. Whay on Earth could they be getting up to back there?
So, the only thing in the magazine that came close to sharing “Rare Photos of Madonna Backstage” was Madonna practicing dancing in her “dressing room”. Okay, I can see this onstage too? It really did not give any candid insight in my personal opinion.
It was revealed that some sectors of feminism were not exactly pleased with Madonna. Her belt buckle reading “Boy Toy” was scrutinized and Madonna was criticized for not upholding the values of feminism. I was a little bit dumbfounded to read this. I never took the belt to mean that Madonna, herself, was the “Boy Toy”. I thought it meant that Madonna toyed with boys. Ooopsies!
Also, in a dramatic spin, Planned Parenthood started bitching when the song and video for Papa Don’t Preach came out. They argued it was not responsible of Madonna to sing about a teen who gets pregnant and decides to keep their baby. It is worth pointing out that nowhere in the song’s lyrics does it mention being a teenager or what age the woman in the song is. The video for Papa Don’t Preach was released in 1986. Madonna was born in 1958, making her 28 at its release. She was clearly no teenager. Yes, in the video Madonna appears to still live with her father. This could suggest any number of circumstances. Okay, she has stuffed animals in her fictitious bedroom. I am 40 and have 40 stuffed animals. Planned Parenthood is the big loser here.
Now MTV has marathons of a reality show called Teen Mom. Planned Parenthood has their hands full these days battling the Texas Union, so perhaps that is why no commentary has surfaced, at least to my personal attention, about Teen Mom or Teen Mom 2, the sequel.
Further reading contemplated what would happen if Madonna decided to keep her baby in real life. Bette Midler was mentioned as a performer who was outwardly sexual. This was news to me. Was this the same performer that told us that from a distance, God was watching us? Had God watched her behave unmotherly in her early career? According to this magazine, which I must add was just really one very long editorial with added photography from all sorts of sources, Bette Midler’s entire act changed when she became a mother. Coincidence or not? Music Industry decision or her own? Fascinating. All I know is that when Madonna became a mother, she released one very spiritual album entitled Ray of Light (title song being a cover of Curtiss Maldoon’s beautiful piece, Sepheryn). After that, it was basically business as usual.
Who knew Mick Jagger struggled to become a movie star? Not I! So much is lost to popular amnesia! What else is there to uncover?
To me, Madonna will always be a movie star. Desperately Seeking Susan and Who’s that Girl? are classics in my eyes! They are fun with beautiful cinematography as well as creatively scripted. It’s all a matter of opinion, anyway.
I felt that these two quotes did not match up in ideology to one another. However, one or the other may have been stated after some thought about whichever the former was.
In the first quote of order, Madonna was complaining about her video Justify My Love being banned from MTV. They refused to air it because it was considered too risque.
Madonna and team resolved the matter by releasing a VHS tape of the video for $9.98 apiece. It sold over one million copies.
I recall my sister, a Madonna fan, showing a Madonna video to her boyfriend at the time. I was there but wasn’t paying attention to the video because at the time, black and white film was impossible to hold my attention, for one thing. I kept trying to tell him something but he told me to hold on and after a few tries I gave up.
Then, Madonna comments on a video that taped Sam Kinison singing with Aerosmith and supposedly spitting on Jessica Hahn, as if she hadn’t suffered enough as a victim of rape. Jessica Hahn was a secretery for Jim Bakker, infamous televangelist along with his wife, the tortured soul, Tammy Faye. She was 21, and in a 2017 article quoting Hahn, she says she is still angry 30 years later. She told sources he used his position as a man of God to rape her. Madonna felt that MTV was wrong for playing this video, especially when they refused to allow her own video onto airwaves.
Some people did not care for the fact that Madonna encouraged fans via cable television to vote in the upcoming presidential election and was not even registered to vote.
Also, I found a typo. The 30th word should be exactly, and not, I wouldn’t think, exacly. This publication has two different editors.
I spotted this, too. It is worth mentioning that, compared to today’s internet news articles, hard copy articles had few mistakes. And today, we have spellcheck! But don’t forget, we also deal with the very intrusive autocorrect. Some do not eliminate this function for whatever reason. I might decide to, personally, if I was a journalist. Maybe in a different dimension where all dreams come true! Don’t cry for me, Argentina, many of my dreams have, indeed, occured.
Of course, an offering of sorts must be made to Cher (mother of Deadsy singer, Elijah B. Allman, worth namedropping (as is Cher to the editors of this magazine)). But from my understanding, Cher was basically a model for certain fashion designers such as Bob Mackie. Cyndi Lauper was her own fashion designer, a true artist. It looks as though Madonna, in her younger New York days, borrowed from this or that subculture-dance community, LGBT community, CBGB communtiy-all that and more.
I thought this photo was a strange choice to pair with this quote. Here, we see Madonna positioned below another person.
This was the only ad in the magazine. Also, believe it or not, the only date stamp, albeit for a future date at the press time the ad was created.
In an ironic twist, did Teen Set magazine sponsor Madonna Into the Nineties?
Teen Set magazine was one of many selections children of the age could choose that featured write ups and posters of song and dance groups like New Kids on the Block, two of five members shown in this ad with the guy who is credited for creating the ensemble , Maurice Starr.
Anyway, Teen Set was looking for subscribers. “Foreign ad $10”, according to the small print.
What became of Jim Kohls, publisher, I wondered?
WARNING: Don’t get too far into Rabbit holes, or you will have a hard time finding a way out sometimes!