1992 Newspaper Circular Coloring Book

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This mock coloring book arrived with the newspaper during the holiday season of 1992. There were many layers unto this circular, including a large contest and coupons.

One could enter to win a 10,000 dollar shopping spree at the store of your choice. That is a lot of non-perishables. Employees of brands used in this advertisement coloring book were disqualified from entering.

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Ten “first prize”, as opposed to grand prize, winners won a Sony Trinitron TV. I found one such television from 1992.

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1000 second prizes were given away for a fifty dollar gift certificate to Blockbuster Video. Wow, what a difference.

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Everyone who entered got to try out the new Crayola Changeables markers. The concept was the first marker laid down a color, then the clear marker would change that color wherever it laid its line. This was better than a TV, Trinitron or not.

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The coloring books was about a family called the Taylors and loosely described how they prepared for their holiday party.

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It flashes breifly to the neighbors across the street, hence the word loose.

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Is that the dog from the Fit and Trim package itself?

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Because that is for sure the Beggin’ Strips dog. The artist has taken care to show each product in the hung stockings.

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Hershey has since changed its chocolate chip packaging design while its Hershey Kisses packaging remains a classic to this day. They even play the same old commercials for kisses.

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Ring a bell?

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The artist had to make a stretch to feature certain products.

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I have no idea why a scarecrow is featured in a Christmas ad. Maybe he is stuffed with Bounty.

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I hope that is not supposed to be the Charmin baby.

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Aunt Debbie is not ashamed and does not feel she has to keep her products hidden.

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Many little kids probably learned about menstruation that 1992 holiday season.

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Here is another classic packaging. I do not believe I have seen this brand in some time.

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People could use the coupons until 1-31-93.

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The only coupon that was clipped was for coffee. You win, Folgers. Could you bring coupons to the shopping spree?

Chuck E v. Billy Bob

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“Remember me?”

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Long ago, Chuck E Cheese won the pizza wars over old Billy Bob the Bear.

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This Showbiz Pizza commercial is marketed exclusively toward adults.

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1983 was a time in which Salad Bars were new and hip.

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I guess the pizza was something to sing about. We can’t speak for Showbiz any longer but the crap coming out of Chuck E’s kitchen is worse than Hot and Ready Little Sleazer’s.

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Don’t hurt yourself, buddy.

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All was well when Billy Bob sang you a little ditty on your honeymoon.

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We all know what Chuck E Cheese evolved into, but let’s celebrate the golden years.

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Children of the corn…

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became delightful little kiddos at the sight of one Chuck E Cheese.

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Now Chuck E Cheese’s serves beer and the media is rife with reports of boozing brawls at birthday parties. I am waiting for Chuck E to start throwing punches.

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Where a kid can be a kid.

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My sister Jen living it up in the 80s.

 

Commercial Nation: 80s MTV

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This lovely animation was aired May 3, 1986 on MYV’s Top Twenty Countdown.

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Wart happened?

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Pretty as Pat Benetar, now.

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COMPOUND W Gel: You can’t buy a stronger wart remover.

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This special Clearasil ad accompanied a 1991 episode of Headbanger’s Ball.

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One could acquire a fanny pack to go along with his or her newly fresh face.

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A good number to prank. And what a lovely still life.

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This font means business.

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This ad aired on MTV in 1983. It was celebrated a gigantic set of headphones.

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Batteries included for once. Probably lasted all of twenty minutes.

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weee

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Konnichiwa

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These freebies are just too enticing.

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What about the batteries?

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Hannibal Lector Barbie

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Really just a makeup plate of sorts. Perfect raccoon circles.

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Not even Barbie, bitch.

Commercial Nation

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What is this?

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Why, it’s Yuppie Utopia 1985.

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These funny little face nuances are the expressions of a happy gum chewer.

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Wrigley’s Spearmint gum, to be exact. Even tying your tie is adventurous.

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Everything is right with the world when you have fresh breath.

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Lift this.

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Some problems are more serious. One may need more than a little stick of gum to cut through this crisis.

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Yuppie Utopia is back to illustrate what you are risking.

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Bitch, get back and use that paper to fan your breath.

 

In 1985, this was the answer to your prayers. If you were cussing out the Juicy Fruit Company for not being able to help you in your time of need, Lavoris was there for you.

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And then all was right with the world.

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John Denver saluting Raisin Bran as being natural to send you off. Today it is caked with sugar and John Denver would probably not get behind such a product.

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Ironman Exclusive

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This Ironman’s Guide to Bodybuilding text was published in 2000. It is heralded as a natural way to gaining muscle mass.

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These are not pills, but dietary supplements. What part of all natural do you not understand?

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You can get ripped when you follow the methods this book has to offer. His shirt is about a pitbull. Bow wow wow.

Screaming on the down beat never hurts.

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These workouts are not just for men.

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You can fall in love while getting as big as a house.

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Dumb bells

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This is fierce.

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Don’t forget to stretch.

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Those high tops are intense.

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When you run out of weights, people also work.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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A gentle smile

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Lickity split

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Large and in charge.

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Ironman, indeed.

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And something to grow on.

Selling Out

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Lights, Camera, Action!  This shot is from the crowd at an 80s festival along the lines of Live Aid. A lot of hard work went into bringing you your MTV.

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Speaking of hard work, this Mickey calculator could cut homework times in half.

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It took AA batteries. Such a thing beats solar powered calculators which never seemed to get enough sun to work reliably. Cute 80s sticker, too. Koalas were a trend then and need to see a resurgence in today’s day and age.

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It is uncertain whether this particular Disney hunk of plastic used a trademark or not.

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Sew what.

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3 hours to satisfaction. One has the option of making jorts in this pattern, whatever suits the fancy of the designer. The models would have really worked those jorts so I am not sure why it was decided they should wear long jeans.

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Throwing jarts in jorts. Jorts is jean shorts for anyone WTFing it right now.

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A twofer. Where else would you see two toilet paper firms team up? In the 80s, anything was possible.

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This was before The Flintstones got their shit together. Who is that little boy and why is Dino green?

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This is Blinkers. Owls were big like Koalas back in the 80s.

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This unfortunate dude has an eye in the middle of his forehead. Someone probably worked really hard at a carnival game to win him.

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Do not iron this dolly.

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A somewhat dangerous if innocent game along with a 1995 Geoffrey Giraffe of Toys R Us fame.

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Creepy Crawlers the Toy

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I didn’t want to start out with something too creepy, but frankly, that is where my mind is at right now. I came across these illustrations at my favorite dive, Cat’s Meow. This dude is playing it awfully patient.

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Don’t worry, it’s not meningitis or typhoid, it’s velcro.

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I forgot what they were talking about here with this illustration but I do recall feeling it was a longshot to put the two together.

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Etch a Sketchs were big. Shake it up and on to the next one.

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This is a slinky. They used to be metal but now they are plastic. I used to have an orange one that was red on the inside kinks.

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Serovar Typhi

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Is he locking them out or in?! Stay away from my Rubix Cube! I am trying to solve it!

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Nice hat bozo

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Here is the cover. All these books from the 80s have these fake ass names if you have ever noticed.

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This book is only available through the school market by Scholastic. I wonder why that would be.

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I have to apologize for the blurry image. I was in a hurry.

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Lurlene

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Stacy, Kim and Jessica can’t get enough of Six Months to Live.

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Angela, Nicole, and Nichole like this book, too, and Kim and Jessica are coming back for more.

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Kawkawlin is vast and green.

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70s-0-Rama

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All this gal ever wanted to be was a model…Maybe she could hit the big times and become a  SuperModel. She sent out her pictures to all of the agencies. And now here she is, for the rest of eternity, as the ROACHES lady.

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These appliances were featured in a 1973 issue of Women’s Day. This mustard color was one of the great postmodern classics.

We used to have a stove this color, as well as a dryer. I think that might actually be our exact model there. My mom still has it in her basement and uses the inside of it for storage.

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This beautiful 70s kitchen is fit for all of your cooking needs. Two sinks? That is luxury. That linoleum disguised as tile was popular too. God bless all of the homes in America that still have it. It is important that we hold onto our heritage.

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Don’t get too tripped out by this pantry as it does appear that the floor continues onto the wall upward to the ceiling.

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Here is another storage space. How to Clean Everything.

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“Part of a balanced breakfast.” Why are you having both cereal and toast? Are you going to be running a marathon?

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I miss Total. I have never heard of Corn Total. It must have disappeared by the time I was on solids.

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OK, flushable? As women, we are constantly inundated with signs that say PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH SANITARY NAPKINS. It is like a code of restrooms. Yet, the signs still go up. And you think, what fool is trying to flush these things? Evidently, there was a time when you could flush. So, I guess there was a period of confusion.

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This crochet tie is strong yet sensitive.

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Here are more of those 70s colors. Pea Green and Blood Brown are featured here.

I used to hate when people called me Kathy. Now I am like whatever. I probably won’t see you again.

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Time-span action…timed to your queefs.

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This is cool and should return.

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My mom has a ton of these. The photos still stick today.

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The most impressive thing here is what that beagle can do with its ear.

Bye for now! See you next week!

Women’s Health 1992

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This Nordic Track ad was featured in an upper middle class targeting home and garden magazine from the late 90s.

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My, how workout gear had changed in the course of a few years. Here is a gal from Reader’s Digest Health: Women’s Health demonstrating the necessity for physical fitness, 1992.

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She doesn’t want to have sex with you because you have Dorito breath.

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This couple was featured in a chapter about sexually transmitted diseases.Ron, as he is called, gave this gal an STD that he did not know he had because it lay dormant in men.

She now experiences a pretty rough seven days per month. I can’t believe they used this photograph to portray the two.

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This seems more realistic.

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Perhaps just this. We don’t even need to see his face.

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I saw this and was pretty sure it was Julia Roberts that had done some modeling for stock photos before rising to fame. I showed my boyfriend, Robert, and he said it looks nothing like her. Oh come on.

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Real life is not the movie, Pretty Woman. If a dude approaches you at night wanting directions, remain cautious.

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1f8b62fd28b64d0821ae51a85b844b4cvintageboardgames

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“Lets go home and play Girl Talk.”

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“Big girls play Truth or Dare.”

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She made these cool before J.Lo was even a Fly Girl.

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Denim shirts used to be big time.

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If you’re real edgy, you might pair sweatpants with a windbreaker top.

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Be the talk of the town!

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Shop local.

Health Nuts 1992

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The thrift store gods have been looking down on me favorably. I found a set of Reader’s Digest Health Encyclopedias for the picking at Cat’s Meow in Essexville, Michigan.

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Dollar Bag of Books Central

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One book focused on pregnancy. All women deserve a Lamaze partner like this. Confession: My first attempt at spelling Lamaze was llamas. Naaaay Baaaaah

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At some point after this series was published (1992), women revolted against the matronly “fashion” options they were given by maternity designers.

Pregnant and stylish are not  mutually exclusive.

Poor gal seems to be saying this dorky frock was the best she could find.

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This seatbelt safety model is in the same boat. She is driving around shopping looking for some sexy maternity clothes that do not look like hospital gowns. No luck!

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P.U.

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These maternity clothes are the pits!

Luckily, things have changed. We don’t have to feel like sexless birthing appliances any longer. Free to be you and me.

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“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”

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She looks so cute. This was before the pink explosion that permeated little girl culture. My little sister wore Oshkosh, too. There were more flowery choices in later years to be more accommodating to all tastes.

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My personal favorites are the dark materials with flower print. My sister had black corduroy overalls with little posies on them.

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Probably a popular google search…They did not have google then, so they had to rely on things like books from the Reader’s Digest library.

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Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor anything you want to.

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This picture was part of a checklist of things you may want to bring to the hospital when you go into labor. Um, those headphones are not going to work if you can’t plug them in.

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Where did she shop at? She looks jazzy compared to the other women and also, her kid matches. Probably at Younkers.

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We had one of these for a minute. It is an alternative to a glass thermometer.  They must have been trendy. They sort of died out. Maybe they were easy to lose. Maybe they were inaccurate. I am leaning toward easy to lose because I am sure we lost ours.

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I dig how he has tucked his sweatpants into his socks.

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I love sweatsuits.

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These yuppies don’t look happy.

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All you need is love.

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XOXOXOXOXo